4 Ways to Overcome Unforgiveness
Have you ever forgiven someone only to see unforgiveness ram its ugly head back into your heart and mind? I have – more than I care to admit. In fact I have some bad news; forgiveness is more of a journey rather than a destination.
When it comes forgiving someone sometimes it seems like we take two steps forward and one step back. I definitely feel this way. After mustering up all the strength I can to forgive I’m seemingly catapulted back to starting line by another wrong.
Wouldn’t it be great if we could all pop some forgiveness pills and be done with it? Unfortunately, it is not that simple, but it is doable. Since there is no forgiveness caveat in the Bible we all must figure out how to live a lifestyle of perpetual forgiveness. Below are some suggestions that have proven beneficial for me.
-
Write A Forgiveness Letter
Even before I had a blog writing was my therapy. I used to pour out my soul on the pages of my journals. Amazingly I would feel so much lighter after writing my thoughts out on paper. Writing a forgiveness letter is a bit like that but with more structure. I have used this strategy on numerous occasions and simply mentally followed the steps on others. This strategy may be helpful for you if the offense is too difficult to talk about.
-
Prayer
The most basic definition of prayer is talking to God. The beauty of a prayer is that it does not require polished communication.
We can also use our prayer life to pray for the person who wronged us. It is difficult to harbor unforgiveness and pray for the person who wronged you at the same time. This single act alone, is powerful and effective in relinquishing your right to hold another person responsible for hurting you.
-
Scripture Memorization
Romans 12:2 (NIV) says, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.’ This eye-for-an-eye world would have us bad mouth and blame our offenders to oblivion. This is our natural tendency as human beings but that is not God’s way.
We have to get rid of our previous way of thinking. I know no other way to do this than with the life-changing word of God. The psalmist David says it best in Psalms 51:10 (NIV), “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”
-
Counseling
Sometimes you need an objective hearer to help you sort through traumatic life experiences. The deterrent for many people is that counseling seems to be an admittance of weakness. Seeking the assistance of a counselor, on the contrary, takes courage. It requires you to acknowledge you have a problem and take action to resolve it. Many people would rather camouflage their issues and act like they don’t exist. A choice to pursue counseling requires inner strength.
“The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice.”
Proverbs 12: 15 (NIV)
For years I felt like I would be stuck in the same unforgiveness rut. If you find yourself in one today, please know that there is hope. You can begin your journey to complete forgiveness today.
Glad to find you from Monday’s Musings. I’m #56. I am glad I read your post today. Have a blessed week.
Carolina Hinojosa-Cisneros recently posted…Darkness Cannot Feed Where I Do Not Allow It – Idol Talk
Thanks for joining the conversation Carolina. Be blessed! – Kia
This is my first time visiting but sure glad I found your place. Your tips are spot on, I think prayer key and I know I have found myself having to ask God (again) to help my heart when it comes to difficult people in my life, so I love the way you look at forgiveness as a journey. I think it paints a more realistic view than that of a one and done deal.
Your neighbor from #TellHisStory 🙂
So true Meghan. Just when we think we’ve mastered forgiveness there’s an even bigger hurt looming. But God’s grace is so sufficient to sustain us when we are hurt. Thank you for joining the conversation and be blessed! – Kia
unforgiveness is something that can bother all of us. No matter how small the sin or how big it is the difference is none for they all leave us feeling defeated. Jesus does forgive us and the tips you offered will help us all
come see us at http://shopannies.blogspot.com
Angie, unforgiveness can creep up when we least expect and when times are seemingly going well. I’m so thankful God has given us nuggets that can help us overcome those times when it is hard to forgive. Thank you so much for joining the conversation today and be blessed! – Kia
These are all great ideas for overcoming unforgiveness. I find memorizing scripture particularly helpful. When I’m filled with the Word, it’s hard for unforgiveness to get a grip on my heart.
I came over from the Grace & Truth linkup!
Lynnae McCoy recently posted…Dear Christian Blogger – Advice from one who’s made mistakes
Hi Lynnae,
I have to confess, even with a brain full of scripture sometimes unforgiveness is a hurdle I have to jump over more times than I’d like to admit. I am so thankful God has remained faithful to me in those times. When we are weak He is most definitely strong. Thanks for joining the conversation today and be blessed! – Kia
Hi, Kia. Unforgiveness is such a tricky topic and I am so glad you have the courage to address it. You are so right – it is a journey! I have come to the realization that in those times when anger and frustration come up after I have made the choice to forgive isn’t an indication that I haven’t truly forgiven them, it is just a deep wound that needs more healing and the continuous choice to forgive. That is the journey, hey?
Thanks for sharing in Grace and Truth.
Aimee Imbeau recently posted…What I Found At His Feet
Aimee, Amen. The journey of forgiveness certainly has twist and turns. I too have had deep wounds to resurface that I thought were healed. It seems like the older I get the more likely those wounds are to reappear. But I am thankful for Christ example that reminds me of why I should forgive. His grace is sufficient in my weakness. Thanks so much for joining the conversation and be blessed! – Kia